Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Life with Lupus
When I started with a rash on my face, arms, back, feeling like I was 100 yrs.old and a couple of Dr. appointments later I was told that I had SLE Lupus. That shocked me! I knew of no one in my family that had it, I never really got sick, I couldn't figure out why out of no where I had this. I was ANGRY! But who could I be angry at? Not the Dr., or my husband, or my kids... I also couldn't blame God no matter how much I wanted to. When I would ask in prayer why? the response in my heart was BECAUSE and the verses Ex3:14 and Psa41:10. I had to laugh because, me the person who does NOT handle stress well now has something that flares up under stress. I just wanted to curl up and cry. In fact I did, quite a lot the first couple of weeks after finding out. I wanted to feel sorry for myself, pretend that I didn't have any thing wrong with me. The thought that my own body, although I have a mild case right now, could at any time start to think it was an enemy and go after my vital organs, muscles and connective tissues, was not a reality that I wanted to face. But after A LOT of prayer, a friend (who I didn't know had the same thing), A WONDERFUL HUSBAND, change in diet, and some meds, I'm doing good! Not perfect but good!